School Board Meeting Disrupted by Moms, Demons
By Heather O. Docks
[TRANSCRIPT of Springfield District School Board meeting, September 6, 2023]
CHAIRWOMAN BELINDA WARREN: This meeting has come to order. First on the agenda this evening is the delegation of the local chapter of Moms for Common Sense. Would you please step forward and state your name?
SPEAKER ONE: Good evening. My name is Mrs. Cassandra Chan and I’m here this evening representing the Springfield chapter of Moms for Common Sense, or MCS. I’m also a parent of three children who attend school here in the District. We’re here because we are very concerned about some of the books that have been selected for the libraries in the District’s schools…um…books that we feel very strongly will be damaging and harmful to our children. I have here [fumbles with papers]…a list of some of these titles, as well as samples from these books that I’d like to enter into the record. Is that OK?
WARREN: Go ahead please. You have five minutes.
CHAN: Thank you. First on the list is a storybook aimed at 4 to 6 year-olds called Suzie’s First Amputation, which is described as “a heartwarming story of a young girl with body-related distress who achieves her dreams by having her right leg cut off at the knee.” Does the District really think a book like this teaches a positive message?
WARREN: Why are you attacking distressed kids?
CHAN: We’re not “attacking” kids, we’re deeply concerned about them! Children are very impressionable! Don’t you worry that this book is going to cause children to think about and worry about something that normally wouldn’t occur to most of them in a million years? Shouldn’t we be teaching kids to love and accept their bodies as they are?
WARREN: Why is your group so filled with hate? Let the record show that the speaker is “hateful.”
CHAN: [*hatefully*]: That is completely ridiculous. We don’t “hate” anyone! We just feel some of these new books go way too far. I mean what about this one? Again, it’s aimed at the same age group. It’s called Grandpa is a Leatherdaddy. It’s described as “the heartwarming story of a family that comes to accept their grandfather’s bondage fetish by touring his sex dungeon.” [Slams book on podium]. I ask you, how on Earth is this an acceptable book for young children? This is totally disgusting! Look at the cover [waves book towards front of room]—it’s a drawing of an elderly man in leather and studs with his buttocks exposed! We demand that this book be removed from all of the school libraries in the district!
WARREN: Why do you want to deny children the right to read?
CHAN: Nobody’s denying the right to read! Our organization fully supports libraries, literacy and children accessing a wide range of books. We are just very concerned about the school purchasing reading material that’s completely inappropriate for these age groups!
WARREN: Some children in the community have fetishists in the family. They need to feel represented! Your arguments are so typical of the alt-Right.
CHAN: Alt-Right!? I’ll have you know I’m a lifelong Democrat! The MCS just feels that too many children’s publishers and children’s librarians seem to have forgotten what’s appropriate for young readers, that they’re pushing themes—an agenda--on them that kids just are not ready for. We’re seeing books that destabilize children psychologically, or expose them to sexually explicit content way too early. Sure, children need to read widely, but they need stability in their worlds, their lives. I mean, what about this one? It’s called When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Love You. This is a terrible message to give to impressionable and vulnerable kids! What are you thinking?
WARREN: Sometimes teachers need to keep information about students from their parents! This book just helps young people get comfortable sharing their secrets with teachers and other adult authority figures, rather than their own parents.
CHAN: What? That’s outrageous! You know there’s a word for that right? Right?
WARREN: Don’t! Don’t say it! I’m warning you, you will be expelled from the room if you persist in this line of questioning.
CHAN: Fine! Fine! Well, what about this one? What do you have to say about this? This one’s called Becky and Bobby Summon Demons. It says it’s “the heartwarming story of a group of fun-loving children who dabble in the Dark Forces and unleash an unholy horde of demons upon the Earth.”
WARREN: Reading does stimulate young people’s imaginations! That book sounds very imaginative.
CHAN: Oh does it? Well, how about if I read a few paragraphs? Here we are, page 34: “Becky looked up from the book, held hands with Bobby and chanted, “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet! Consectetur, adipiscing elit!”
WARREN: You can’t read that aloud here! It’s not appropriate! Stop right now!
CHAN: If I can’t read it here, then how it is appropriate to be available in a school library? “’Louder Becky! Louder’ shouted Bobby. Becky continued, ‘Sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqu!’”
WARREN: Stop! Stop!
CHAN: “Faucibus purus in massa tempor nec feugiat!”
[Lights flicker, temperature drops]
WARREN: What’s happening?
CHAN: “Risus nullam eget felis eget!”
[Growling sounds heard]
WARREN: For the love of God, stop reading!
CHAN: “Ultrices in iaculis nunc sed! Turpis egestas integer! Eget aliquet nibh praesent tristique magna sit”!
[Room is plunged into darkness. All the doors slam shut. Audience members heard screaming]
WARREN: Nooo! Aiiiiiieeee!
[TRANSCRIPT ENDS]1
This piece is satire and any perceived similarity to individuals living or dead is purely coincidental.
I agree with the point here that accusing all concerned parents of acting in bad faith, of being "hateful" and bigoted etc. is doing serious harm to our civic discourse, and puts publicly-funded libraries squarely on the battlefield of the culture war, rather than as a venue for genuine dialogue.
I was a children's librarian in the 90s in some conservative areas, and there were lots of families against books/decorations having to do with Halloween, and I had a mom yank her children out of a story time in which I read the folk tale "The Teeny Tiny Woman." I was also reprimanded by a teacher when I read a LeRoi Jones poem in a classroom that had the word "damn" in it. Needless to say, I (inwardly) rolled my eyes at the "conservatives" back then.
But it seems the regime is really pushing for censorship these days and will accomplish it however it can. The "progressives" will push for censorship through critical theory; the right will push for censoring the censoriousness of critical theory; the progressives will advocate for material for children that is so boundary pushing that the right will have no choice but to counter with attempts to censor.
It is diabolically clever, I will give the regime that.